Time to come clean
Given all the stuff in the media lately the following is really hard to admit because I know people are just going to hate me for it. But here goes.
I’ve eaten mooseburger and it was good!
There I’ve said it, damn me to hell (not much of a problem for an atheist). But I just had to quash all those stories about me hunting moose, it’s just not true, I didn’t kill the moose.
It was like this. I was at a party in Toronto, Canada and a friend introduced me to his brother, an RCMP office (Mountie to you) from up North. He’d brought some moose steaks (for family only) and some moose burgers. I was offered one, I ate it and I came back from more.
When I asked the off-duty RCMP officer how often he went hunting he became a bit sheepish. Turns out he didn’t hunt. He relied on tourists from places like Toronto to do it for him.
Imagine a family from Toronto heading north, eh, to see the real Canada, eh. Then out of no where a 700kg moose wonders onto the highway. No time to stop. Result, one written off Toyota tin can and one still alive, legs all broken, twitching moose. Along comes the hero of the day, our on-duty RCMP officer.
First he makes sure everybody in the family is OK, then slowly, sadly, dispatches the moose (why do you think RCMP officers have guns). He then approaches the family and asks them what they are going to do with it? What! Well you sort of killed it so technically it’s yours. Can’t we just leave it? No that would be a crime and I’d have to fine you. But we can’t take it, our cars wrecked and it must way a tonne! Tell you what, why don’t you give it to me and I’ll dispose of it for you, eh. Oh, thank you office that’s so kind.
Apparently this happens so often that he’s built a walk-in freezer and they haven’t had to buy meat in years.
